A New Chapter.....

My recovering type A personality marks time a little differently than some people. For me, I break down the year based upon goals I’ve set and things that are set on my calendar. After I get through March, I’ll be able to come up for air and breathe. When the kids are out of school, we’ll finally be able to spend some time together as a family. Well at the midpoint of the year, which is what today marks, I also like to sit back and see how far I’ve come and then to and to see what lies ahead. Well,   as I sit here on the last day of the month and first part of the year, I’m simply in awe of what God has done.

This time last year, I started writing a book about my journey over the past 10 years. It covers everything from grief over losing my daughter at two weeks old, to the miscarriages and battles of infertility that followed, and then the challenges with my youngest son and everything in between. I finished the book last December and I thought it was going to be published earlier this spring. Well of course you know what happened to those plans! For the past two months I’ve been battling resistance on every side. It was hard not to give into frustration and disappointment because I’ve seen this movie before. Every time I’m on the brink of one of God’s miracles, the enemy tries to put his two cents in to distract me or frustrate me so that I will give up. This time his strategy was no different. The delays and tactics were the same, but I found through this past week, that I was different. The waiting was hard, but I decided to trust God in the waiting and just like God, He showed up right on time!

After countless rounds back and forth between my publisher and the distributors, on Friday afternoon, right after my daughter was born 10 years ago to the day, my book was published! I am finally able to comfort countless people with the comfort that I received through my journey. I remember the days and months after she died feeling isolated and alone, wondering why God let this happen to me. I was finally able to take those first steps out of darkness when I picked up a book that a friend had given me and I opened it and realized, I was not alone. My story was painful, but it wasn’t unique. I pray that I can be that vehicle for someone else who also needs to know that what they’re going through may also be painful, but they too are not alone. Until they have the strength and faith to move forward on their own, I hope they can latch on to the faith and strength of others like me who have gone before them.

Earlier this week, I didn’t know where I would be right now. I didn’t know if or how God would come through, but He did as He always does, and it is marvelous in my sight. 10 years ago, I never would have imagined that I would be sharing my journey with you, but here I am. I couldn’t imagine how on earth I was going to scale the mountains that I faced or if I’d ever climb out of the valleys that seemed too deep to fathom. But by God’s grace, I’m still standing and I’m thankful for everything I’ve learned along the way.

I don’t know where you find yourself today. I don’t know if you’re struggling to put one foot in front of the other or if you feel isolated and all alone. I don’t know if you’re grown weary from the journey and all of the heartache and disappointment and you feel like giving up. Wherever you are today, I want you to know that there is still hope and you’re not alone. You may not realize it. You may not be able to feel it, but God is sitting right there with you in the midst of wherever you find yourself today and God’s fighting for you and pulling for you. You will get through this. In fact, you’ve already won. Where you are is not where your story ends. Trust me, the best chapters are still being written. I can't promise the road ahead will be easy or that you won't continue to face challenges and heartache along the way. What I can promise you is that with every challenge you overcome, you will emerge stronger and more beautiful than you ever imagined. You'll learn that you are capable of more than you could ever fathom. You'll the discover that are gifts that lay dormant inside you waiting to break free. You'll learn how to stop trying to become, and simply be the amazing person you already are. And eventually you'll be able to clearly see that what you thought was a tragic end was just the seeds of your beautiful beginning.