Getting to the root of it all.

I’m so incredibly thankful that God meets me right where I am. I no longer have to feel condemned because I don’t naturally rise up at 5 in the morning like Jesus did before dawn when the dew falls like to spend time with my heavenly Father. Even after 8 hours of sleep, which I amazingly got last night, I'm still not getting up at 5 a.m. That’s just not who I am. I was born at 4:25 pm so I think God knew my peak hours were never going to be early in the morning. Now 7 a.m. I can handle. I actually look forward to my morning walks when the birds are chirping, and the wind's blowing against my face. It all reminds me that my creator is still in control and I can rest in the assurance of knowing that no matter what happens today, it’s not going to destroy me.

I also enjoy my morning walks because it’s the time that I hear God clearly. No distractions, no artificial noise. It’s just me, creation, and our creator. And it’s normally through creation that I hear God speak loudest. Today, God reminded me of my flower bed, and trust me, I use that phrase extremely loosely. I am in no way a gardener but I’m also very frugal so I’ve been doing more things in my flower bed than I’m naturally inclined or gifted to do. One thing I learned earlier is that if I don’t maintain the growth of my bushes, and allow a lot of overgrowth to take over, when I least expect it, all of these weeds start to flourish. I learned that the hard way last year when I decided that I wasn’t going to rake any leaves. They’re great for the soil, right? No. That was just me being lazy and when spring came around that year, I had more weeds than I could shake a stick at and I’m sure the gardeners out there already knew that would happen.

It just so happens that even though my beautiful colorful varietals that I desperately try to plant each year need full sun, not so with weeds. The most annoying ones actually flourish in the dark, damp spaces. I had weeds sprout up that were almost 3 feet tall and it took forever to pull them up because by then their roots were so deep. After going through that experience, I resolved to never endure that agony again. So I have become vigilant about cutting back my bushes and looking under all of the branches so that the weeds are always exposed. God reminded me this morning, such is the case in my spiritual life.

 A while back, God exposed that for a number of years, and a number of reasons, I had many weeds in my life that had impeded my ability to truly flourish and walk fully in my purpose. I had the weed of comparison, the weed of anger, the weed of low self-esteem and self-worth, and the weed of fear which had many root systems that included, the weed of self-control and the weed of inadequacy. God exposed them and I thought that God had pulled them up by the root. But I was reading in my journal earlier this week and realized that I’ve been dealing with these same weeds over and over again. So I asked the question, “Why?” Today I received the answer.

Like my garden, once the weeds are exposed and pulled up, it doesn’t mean that they won’t try to come back. If the environment and circumstances are right, they’ll try to take root again and if ignored, they'll grow even stronger. But the beauty and necessity of keeping them exposed is that when they try to take root, you can see it happening and pull them up before they do any damage. And the more you maintain the area, eventually the roots die.

Then today, I read something that absolutely blew my mind. The best time to pull up weeds is after it rains. Why? Because the soil around the roots is softer and the roots are more pliable. Is it possible, that’s also the case in our spiritual and emotional life? Is it when we’re in our most vulnerable state that the soil of our hearts is finally soft enough so that God can finally start dealing with the root of our issues. Is it possible that it’s only after we’ve shed all of the tears that God can finally show us the source of our true pain? Once God exposes the root, then we have to remain vigilant to look for signs so that we don’t fall into similar patterns or habits, allowing the weeds to start to flourish again.

For instance, you don’t just wake up one day with the weed of low self-esteem. The environment has to be ripe for it. It comes after seasons of being nurtured with criticism, which is internalized and grows into negative self-talk: "Stand up straight! What are you wearing? Why do you talk like that? You know better than that? Why can’t you be more like your sister? Don’t embarrass me? You don’t know how to do that? You’ll never be good enough? You’re such a disappointment! You should be ashamed of yourself!" Over time, that's how you see yourself so that’s who you become. So it’s hard to pull up all the weeds, even after their exposed, because there always seems to be more. So what’s the answer? Weed killer!

You have to kill the weeds by pulling out the big guns and changing the environment so that you’re not inadvertently promoting the weeds' growth. You have to allow God to rewrite the script that has been playing in your head all of these years and treat the weeds with the truth. You don’t have to be like anyone else, because you are fearfully and wonderfully made to be just who you are. (Psalm 139:14) You are not an embarrassment or disappointment. You are a child of the risen King, created in His image. (Genesis 1:27 ) You should not be ashamed because you are chosen and are royalty. (I Peter 2:9) You don’t have to hide or feel guilty because you are forgiven. (Ephesians 1:7) You are accepted and adopted into God’s family. (Ephesians 1:5) and the work God began in you He will complete it until the day of Christ! (Philippians 1:6) And you are loved, so loved that God sent Jesus to die for you! (John 3:16) Don’t let the weeds in your life change who you are.

What weeds do you need God to expose and pull up today? Open up your heart to Him and let the master gardener go to work.